Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Exit Here. Review

Exit Here.
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I did. I stayed up all night to read this. I picked it up to 'start' it. Little did I know it would suck me in so fast. I won't give a report about Travis and his life or his love life or his low life friend/s. I will just say I loved this book. I was disturbed, educated, a little shocked in spots, moved, and did I mention sucked in? A really great read.

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Enter apathy. Travis is back from college for the summer, and he's just starting to settle in to the usual pattern at home: drinking, drugging, watching porn, and hooking up. But Travis isn't settling in like he used to; something isn't right. Maybe it's that deadly debauch in Hawaii, the memories of which Travis can't quite shake. Maybe it's Laura, Travis's ex, who reappears on the scene after a messy breakup and seems to want to get together -- or not. Or maybe it's his suddenly sensing how empty and messed up his life is, and wanting out. But once you're at the party, it's tough to leave...

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Emergency Sex and Other Desperate Measures: A True Story From Hell On Earth Review

Emergency Sex and Other Desperate Measures: A True Story From Hell On Earth
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This is an astonishingly honest description of what happens to people from a sheltered Western background who suddenly have to cope with some of the most horrifying aspects of the world we find ourselves in. As you read it, look at the situations they find themselves in, and try to imagine how you would respond. Of course you'd criticize (often justly) the chiefs above you, but that doesn't mean that you'd do a better job. Don't read it as a political diatribe but as individuals trying to protect themselves and still do something when nothing can be done. I've worked in these and similar situations for twenty years, and have known many people like these three. Often you won't like them, because of the psychological coping mechanisms they have and the personalities they have developed that helps them through the morass.
THe sexual elements that run through the story--particularly Heidi's narrative--are one way of responding to death: by engaging in one of the most life-affirming acts there is. I've known people who, in the face of death, suddenly need 'emergency' sex to prove they are alive. I'm glad Heidi had the honesty to tell this side of the story, regardless of the consequences. I can't criticize her because I know many people who have many relationships for far worse reasons!
This isn't a book that should be read for its political position, for the 'truth' about what 'really happened'. For example, I disagree strongly with Ken about whether the Rwandan Genocide could have been stopped--and I was next door in Burundi watching it happen. He doesn't mention that the French sent troops in to reinstall the Hutu government, that they found it an impossible situation, and withdrew to the quietest corner of the country. But these are quibbles, and reflect our differing perception of the situation. I'd bet he and I could come to a common ground in a few minutes in a bar over a beer.
But get back to the point. This isn't a political expose, it's a psychological one, and it is the best book I've read that grapples with this issue. I know. I've been there.

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S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College Review

S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College
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There are so many things to recommend this book aimed at youth 16 - 22 (but containing info valuable to a much wider age range) that it's difficult to know where to begin. S.E.X. contains a lot of the information you find in guides aimed at a young readership - anatomy lessons, safer sex guidelines, a breakdown of birth control options, definitions of various sexual activities and infections. The difference here is Heather Corinna's (who as the founder of the world's most awesome sex ed site, Scarleteen, has seen and heard it all) dedication to tugging the rest of society closer to her dream of a world where everyone is "healthy, happy and whole in themselves and their sexuality: in body, heart, and mind."
To that end the book is truly inclusive. In a section on sexual identity Corinna points out that "this isn't the gay chapter" and indeed the book doesn't assume a heterosexual default the way many do - or root itself in traditional gender roles. Nor does it assume that sex is better when connected with love or marriage. The emphasis is unfailingly on communication, being as safe as possible, respecting your own and others' boundaries and fitting sex into the rest of your life in a healthy and enjoyable way.
The slant seems so balanced and logical that it's a wonder society at large is in such a mess when it comes to sex and sexuality. But popular culture with its constant projection of a hyper-sexuality which is unvarying and prescriptive (dictating what sort of bodies we should have, the kinds of activities we should be engaging in and who should be performing them - and how) would seem to be the enemy of this logic. To counter these negative messages and arrive at a healthy body image, Heather suggests reducing TV watching and binning your fashion magazines, noticing the diversity around you in your everyday life, focusing on things other than appearance and concentrating on physical activities you enjoy (whether that be team sports, canoeing, whatever).
Of course there's a lot of sex in this book and sexual activities are catalogued along with their pregnancy and STI risk. You'll learn that the idea that female virgins are supposed to be "tight" is pure myth. "A woman having first intercourse very well might be tight, but that is likely due more to nervousness, fear, and anxiety than it is to whether or not she has had partnered sex before." If a woman's relaxed, aroused and lubricated enough with a patient partner first-time sex doesn't need to be painful. The idea of premature ejaculation is "a bit bogus" too. There's no "minimum time that is acceptable for erection" and sexual activity can continue in other ways afterwards. There's no reason that all (or any) of the fun has to spring from penetration.
Unfortunately, not at all sex is consensual and S.E.X. also discusses healing from abuse and rape. "One-half of all rape victims are raped between the ages of fourteen and seventeen." Roughly a third of "high-school and college students has experienced sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional violence in dating relationships."
As adults, we don't do near enough honest talking about these issues. How can we expect young people to deal with the rampant sexual assumptions and expectations, misinformation and pressure created by living in a society that on the one hand tells them sex is something serious and special to save for later while simultaneously drowning them in images that promote the very opposite?
For starters we could buy them this book. If everyone read, digested and lived by the philosophies espoused in S.E.X. our sexual problems would be a thing of the past.

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Have you ever wondered… Am I normal? (and what is "normal," anyway?) What's up down there? I really like girls, but I like boys sometimes, too. Am I gay, bisexual, or just messed up? Are we both really ready to have sex? Is it ok if I masturbate? I feel like I can't ever say no to my partner. What's the problem? Heather Corinna and Scarleteen.com have been providing sex education and information for young adults, parents, and mentors for nearly ten years. Whether you're straight, gay, sexually active, or just plain curious, S.E.X. spells out everything you need to know, including: A sexual readiness checklist Illustrations of female and male reproductive anatomy How to love your body, even when it's changing every day Tips on safer sex for body, heart, and mind An in-depth birth control breakdown How to create and enjoy the relationships that are right for you Popular mechanics of partnered sex: sexual activities explained, including pregnancy and STI risks STIs 101: what they are and how to keep yourself from getting them

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The Chronology of Water: A Memoir Review

The Chronology of Water: A Memoir
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Beyond its clear, dazzling lyrical passages, beyond its fierce energy and unending optimism, there is so much to say about this confessional, bravely written memoir, and you can be sure that The Chronology of Water is an important book. Its themes -- womanhood, motherhood, stillbirth, women's reproductive rights, bisexuality, love and fatherhood, promiscuity and sexual violence, drug and alcohol abuse, sorrow and grief, hope, and survival -- are cultural and political talking points, significant because these issues ought to be discussed and must be heard. That Lidia Yuknavitch is brave enough to begin these discussions with her readers is well worth applauding, and I think it would be a shame and an oversight to think anything less of the importance, and relevance, of this book.

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INTRODUCTION BY CHELSEA CAIN:: This is not your mother's memoir. In The Chronology of Water, Lidia Yuknavitch expertly moves the reader through issues of gender, sexuality, violence, and the family from the point of view of a lifelong swimmer turned artist. In writing that explores the nature of memoir itself, her story traces the effect of extreme grief on a young woman's developing sexuality that some define as untraditional because of her attraction to both men and women. Her emergence as a writer evolves at the same time and takes the narrator on a journey of addiction, self-destruction, and ultimately survival that finally comes in the shape of love and motherhood.

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Unprotected Review

Unprotected
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The author of this book is a psychiatrist at a university health clinic. She has written the book anonymously because she is still working and what she has to say is politically unacceptable to the current mental health establishment. If she stated this openly she would risk her career. However, I am very glad this book has been printed and hope that the author can come out openly and speak on this important topic.
We are taken into the way a student clinic at a typical university runs and how their policies work against the values of students with religious faith and beliefs that run contrary to the politically correct environment of today's colleges and the mental health profession generally. The author shows us how the profession of psychology has become the promoter and enforcer of a certain belief system around sexuality that is antithetical to most mainstream religious faith. She even quotes one past president of the main professional organization saying that his profession needs to help rid people of their religious faith.
The basic idea of the book is that we teach young people to be very particular in what they eat, how they exercise, to be ridiculously frightened of the dangers of second hand smoke, and to flee in terror if a teaspoonful of elemental mercury is spilled in a classroom, yet we are not honest with them about the dangers of casual sexual practices and that safer sex is no such thing. We don't teach young women that sex is biologically, hormonally, and emotionally different for them than it is for men and they are more likely to end up with depression and anxiety issues than the men they have casual relationships with.
We don't teach them that even with condom use they are vulnerable to many kinds of STDs that are still easily transferred. That there are millions of new cases of STDs that can have a permanent effect on a woman's fertility because of the way they set up the woman's immune system to fight the disease it will also fight a newly conceived baby.
And we are not honest with them when we say that AIDS is an equal opportunity disease. HIV infection has more to do with the kinds of sexual practices engaged in and the use of IV drugs than anything else. We do not tell them that young people who postpone sex until marriage and are monogamous and avoid IV drugs or partners who use them that they will be most unlikely to become infected with HIV.
She also takes apart the ridiculous notion that abortion never causes a woman emotional difficulties afterwards. We are shown how something on the order of 20% of women have something akin to post traumatic stress syndrome from these abortions. That is 1 in 5. Can you imagine any other health issues that had such a high incidence that would be denied as occurring or admitted to as happening only very rarely? Given the ridiculous attention paid to second hand smoke (the notion that if you can smell a cigarette within 100 feet of you your health is being damaged) it cannot be that something with actual mental health implications could be missed in an honest and serious way. No, it is suppressed because of the politics of sexuality.
There is a lot of great information and illustrative anecdotes that make her points well. I particularly like these paragraphs in her concluding chapter:
"To our colleagues and Universities: Stop the normalization of behaviors that many therapists - not to mention parents of your students - consider depraved. Again, that this even needs to be said is indicative of the sad state we are in."
"Admit the trauma, to some women and some men, of abortion. Reach out to those for whom the experience has not been an opportunity for `growth and maturation'. Provide a support group; at the very least ask about it!"
"The exaggerated place of sexuality is grotesque and destructive. We are not defined by our urges - straight, gay, lesbian, or bi. What sort of message is that to our youth? We are defined by something more essential, uplifting, and transcendent. I fear this ideology that enshrines the body (health, appearance, physical please) and abandons the soul (meaning, self-sacrifice, family, church)."
"Recognize that for many students, faith may be a tool to promote mental health. In sorting out the dilemma of suicides on campus, consider if perhaps the soullessness and angst among secularism contributes. When patients struggle with suicide, discussion of ultimate issues like meaning, purpose and God are imperative. Acknowledge the benefits of self-restraint in areas other than diet, tobacco, and alcohol. Self-discipline exists outside the cafeteria and the gym."
Recommended strongly.

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Our campuses are steeped in political correctness—that's hardly news to anyone. But no one realizes that radical social agendas have also taken over campus health and counseling centers, with dire consequences. Psychiatrist Miriam Grossman knows this better than anyone. She has treated more than 2,000 students at one of America's most prestigious universities, and she's seen how the anything- goes, women-are-just-like-men, "safer-sex" agenda is actually making our sons and daughters sick. Dr. Grossman takes issue with the experts who suggest that students problems can be solved with free condoms and Zoloft. What campus counselors and health providers must do, she argues, is tell uncomfortable, politically incorrect truths, especially to young patients in their most vulnerable and confused moments. Instead of platitudes and misinformation, it's time to offer them real protection.

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The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra Review

The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra
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The Kama Sutra has a huge reputation based on only one of its five sections. The positions would be Part 2 and only one chapter of the ten in that section. Most books with Kama Sutra in the title are just going to be some porn structured around that chapter. The entire book is not so much useful in describing the physics of sex as for describing the psychology of sex. (It is good for physical stuff too. At one point it gives a method to get to the G-spot with the fingers, so I have to give Indian medicine props there.)
The five sections are as follows:
Part 1 - Describes how to be attractive. You should bathe before you will be meeting the opposite sex and do something to get your breath smelling better. Also clean your apartment. People call it ritual, but it is excellent advice on not being a slob. For women it gives a listing of the 64 arts which will let you be the favorite in the harem. They are fun. Who wouldn't love a woman who does yoga, can inlay a marble table and knows how to design and build irrigation systems? Much more fun to try to be than the Proverbs 31 woman, but on the other hand kind of a strange laundry list of talents.
Part 2 - The positions, hugging, kissing, scratching and oral. Size of the man and the woman and which positions are better to even thing out in that regard.
Part 3 - How to negotiate an arranged marriage (not so useful now). How to devirginize your bride. You won't be sexing her until about two weeks into the marriage. Its all about gaining her trust and her being comfortable so she won't have hang ups about men, and sadly it doesn't apply to most marriages or devirginizations today.
Part 4 - Handling your harem. How the harem women should treat one another and how to keep them one big happy family.
Part 5 - Other men's wives/concubines and how to sneak around with them.
Part 6 - Courtesans. Kind of like etiquette for prostitutes, except courtesans aren't prostitutes. For example there is some etiquette on how to handle the courtesan living with you and your wives.
Part 7 - Being a hottie. How to make some aprodisiacs and some nice little tricks. This section is probably better advice for the sex life than the positions in that the anatomy is here.
I highly recommend the Kama Sutra but not to people who are looking for the book by reputation as sex sex sex. The book is very much about sex, but more about the whole world of etiquette surrounding male female relations. Virgin marriages (virgin women anyway) are taken for granted and one whole section is about devirginizing the woman AFTER THE MARRIAGE. The advice is very good because it tells how to go about building relationships not how to have one night stands.
Get this book to study and think about and view it as relationship advice and not physical sex advice. So much of the book is about communication and is dead on that it is no wonder it is a classic and likewise shows how important communication is to good sex. In terms of this specific translation, just go for a modern translation of the whole book. A picture book of the positions is not the Kama Sutra and the Richard Burton translation is very stilted. This translation works and pictures are reproductions of Indian art not photos of models, so they are less likely to contribute to dissatisfaction or distance with the partner. As with all sexy books avoid used copies.

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A fully illustrated Kama Sutra from the extraordinary and rare art collection of Lance Dane • The first complete translation to illustrate all 64 sexual postures described in the Kama Sutra • Includes 269 rare images • Composed by one of the world's foremost scholars of the Kama Sutra and Indian art The erotic sentiments described in the Hindu love classic the Kama Sutra constitute the most famous work on sex ever created. Written almost 2,000 years ago, the Kama Sutra deals with all aspects of sexual life, including the principles and techniques of sexual pleasure and how to best achieve ecstatic expression of life's beauty.

In this complete and illustrated guide Lance Dane accompanies the Kama Sutra text with 269 illustrations and great works of art that encompass coins, palm leaf manuscripts, sculptures, ancient toys, jewelry, architecture, ivory combs, birch bark, cloth, paintings, frescoes, and scrolls. Gathered from museums and private collections around the world—as well as the author's own collection of over 300,000 photographs—these rare images clearly illustrate all 64 sexual positions and the erotic instructions set forth in the Kama Sutra. The result is a dazzling and sensuous reading experience through which the teachings of the Kama Sutra spring to life.


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The Average American Male: A Novel Review

The Average American Male: A Novel
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It's worth your time to examine the quality of the spelling in the positive reviews of this book in order to form an opinion of what marketers like to call "the target demographic." Ask yourself: do I fit into this group? Do I want to? If you want to read something with a lot of unapologetic masculinity lying around for you to slip in, by all means read Chuck Palahniuk's "Fight Club" or "Choke." If you want to read something with a ton of sex, please treat yourself to Jonathan Franzen's "Freedom." If you want a good, old-fashioned story with great male and female characters and plenty of sex and violence, may I recommend George R. R. Martin's "A Game of Thrones?" Under no circumstances, however, should you read this book.

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I Just Want My Pants Back: A Novel Review

I Just Want My Pants Back: A Novel
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If you are a budding novelist, but worry about getting your work into print - take heart in the fact that Broadway Books, a division of Random House published "I Just Want My Pants Back: A Novel." The bar has been set pretty low.
Pros:
Pleasant writing style, essentially conversational
Some humorous bits
A little sleazy sex
Some realistic depravity
Cons:
There are not enough interesting ideas to support 226 pages of text.
The passage of time has been substituted for a plot
Characters, including the protagonist are poorly developed
No issues are resolved
I can't help but feel that Rosen's, "I Just Want My Pants Back" is largely autobiographical.
It reads like a diary chronicling a series of very, unexceptional events in a young man's life.
As a reality show template. "I Just Want My Pants Back." may appeal to some TV producers.
Used copies of I Just Want My Pants Back: A Novel are available on Amazon for 22 cents. The shipping will cost you more than the purchase price.
A marketplace testimonial if ever there was one.
Caslo

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Slow Hands (Harlequin Blaze) Review

Slow Hands (Harlequin Blaze)
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I just read this book on my Blackberry Kindle (getting a real Kindle in a few weeks) and this is one of the best romance novels I have ever read. I have been reading this while sitting behind my desk at work. I started this book at 4:15 p.m and finished at 11:02 p.m. I still cannot believe what a suspenseful page turner this was. I loved the attitude of Jake. Madeline was quite the character as well, thinking Jake was a gigolo. I had to remember I was at work to keep from laughing too loud because there were some funny points here. One of my favorite parts was picking Jake's sister up and she asking Madeline if her ex, Oliver, cheated on her with a man because his name sounded gay. I mean, I do not laugh at gay people, but that was too much, I could no longer contain the laughter. It is rare in these romance books to add such color and personality to the characters, but this author mastered that beautifully. I was still shocked that this book was free because I would have gladly paid $6.99 for that. I hope this author does not stop because this book was too good. If I could rate it more I would, but since we stop at 5, that is what this novel will get. Cannot wait to start a new book, as I am searching the Kindle store now, because I have 50 more minutes at work!

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His price? Pure pleasure... This is Maddy Turner's lucky day. The civilized society girl just bid on sexy rogue Jake Wallace at a charity bachelor auction and won! But Maddy knows Jake's dirty little secret. And it should keep her from trying out her new boy toy. Too bad she can't stop herself from indulging in raw, quite uncivilized sex all the same....Jake Wallace is utterly bewitched by Maddy and utterly bewildered. How can this tantalizing woman melt so rapturously under his ministrations one moment, then turn into a haughty queen the next? He's determined to get to the bottom of Maddy's agenda. One slow, delicious inch at a time...--This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

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