After Silence: Rape & My Journey Back Review

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(More customer reviews)Nancy Raine's After Silence, her firsthand account of her rape and her life after the rape, is compelling, illuminating, and essential reading. Brutally honest, Nancy shares her private story of surviving and recovering from rape.
Raine helps her readers understand the severe and often lifelong psychological consequences of being victimized, the ambivalent reactions of other people to rape survivors, and the personal anguish in recovering from being raped. Raine elucidates her feelings of helplessness and terror during the rape, her treatment by the legal and medical system, other people's reactions to her rape, and her social and emotional isolation after the rape. She leads us through her coming to terms with the rape, with the new person she feels she becomes, with other people's reactions, and with her post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms. Through Raine's words, we watch a severely traumatized woman learn to regain control of her life and learn to trust and love again.
Raine's book raises many important questions: Why the shame of being a victim of rape? Why is the victim blamed? Why do some people still think that rape is "assault with a friendly weapon?" Why people's ambivalent reactions to rape? Why the silence?
Raine decided to end the silence about rape by bravely sharing her story with the world. Why should she be ashamed? She is the victim; she did nothing wrong. She purposely and insistently breaks the taboos about rape to try to pave the path for rape victims to speak out about this abominable and prevalent crime.
There were an estimated 9 million women raped in the United States alone between 1972 and 1991. In the United States, a woman is raped every two minutes; eighty-three percent of women with disabilities will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime; only twenty-six percent of rapes are reported to the police. Over fifty percent of rape survivors suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, which can include the reexperiencing of the attack through nightmares, intrusive thoughts, and flashbacks; the avoidance of thoughts, feelings, places, and activities associated with the rape; difficulty concentrating; mood swings; and a diminished interest in former activities. These are just a few of the many terrifying and eye-opening statistics about the prevalence and seriousness of rape (in this country alone!)
Books like After Silence are necessary to combat the public's denial and apathy about the pervasiveness and seriousness of sexual crimes on women. After Silence can also help rape survivors understand that they are not alone and that their reactions to being raped are "normal." The general public should read the book so they can better understand the experience of being raped and life after rape. Hopefully the public and the legal system will learn to more supportive to rape survivors and more committed to ending (sexual) violence against women.
Reviewed by Vanessa Jackson

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Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead: The Frank Meeink Story as Told to Jody M. Roy, Ph.D. Review

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(More customer reviews)This book changed me. I have always wondered, "How can people be so hateful?" Nobody is born a racist. Frank spells it out in absolute honesty how to build an army of haters. Page 151 reads, "I didn't need to bother recruiting racists. All I did was befriend kids who were pissed off about being picked on day in and day out. I trusted them to pay me back with loyalty. I trusted that I could turn their humiliation into hate. All I had to do was redirect their rage until it came thundering back as racism." If you get nothing else out of this book, it is the need to be compassionate. Kids aren't the only ones picked on day in and day out. I am grateful to this author for being so brutally honest about his past and present. Frank Meeinks doesn't wrap this book up with a nice bow at the end...he is still working towards making his life better...one day at a time. And I'm absolutely a better person because of his journey.

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You Gotta Keep Dancin' Review

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(More customer reviews)I had struggled with depression throughout my adolescence, and into my adult life. Even after the life changing event of becoming a Christian, I still struggled with severe depression. I was in the midst of trying to find answers on how to deal with and get rid of the depression when I came across this book, "You gotta keep dancing". I didn't think much of it, because I had read other books with similar titles, but then I read the first few pages and I couldn't stop reading it.
With this book and the Bible, I found someone [Tim Hansel] who showed me a new perspective on life that no one else had shown me and it turned my world around forever. Now I spend my time trying to help other people deal with their pains in life and I have given away at least 2 dozen of these books to friends and family.

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YOU CAN CHOOSE JOYLife can be tough. Stress, disappointment, heartache, hurt–all are part of the human condition. But while pain is unavoidable, misery is optional! The freeing message of You Gotta Keep Dancin' is that, no matter what your circumstances, you can choose to be joyful.Tim Hansel speaks as one who knows. For the past ten years he has lived with continual physical pain, the result of a climbing mishap in the Sierras. But You Gotta Keep Dancin' is not just another story of a Christian who had an accident. It is a powerful account of God's working in one man's physical and emotional suffering, helping him discover the real meaning of joy.Tim doesn't treat lightly the difficulties of anyone's life. In his words, "this book is in no way meant to diminish the awfulness of pain, tragedy, and affliction. I don't want to ‘celebrate pain,' but more deeply understand the dignity of what can happen in it, through it, and because of it.”Tim Hansel is the founder of Summit Expedition, a wilderness survival school for individuals seeking deeper experiences with themselves, others, and God. In great demand as a speaker and seminar leader, Tim is also the author of the best-selling When I Relax I Feel Guilty and What Kids Need Most in a Dad. He makes his home in San Dimas, California, with his wife.You have changed my sadness into a joyful dance. Psalm 30:11

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Rise and Shine: The Extraordinary Story of One Man's Journey from Near Death to Full Recovery Review

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(More customer reviews)More than a book you can't put down, although it is that, Rise and Shine is an unforgettable ride that propels the reader through the roller-coaster adventure of Simon Lewis's recovery, from the deepest coma possible without being dead to his triumph over the naysaying doctors, the impossible door slams of the insurance industry, and the ineffectual healthcare quagmire. After 16 years of persistence, with the loving care of his parents and the shining healers he found among the many medical professionals he consulted, Mr. Lewis emerges with his humor, keen insights and gift of inspiring language intact. The wealth of scientific data he has assembled in very accessible form will help many individuals around the world who will be informed and uplifted by his stunning effort to share his discoveries with a global readership, particularly those who have suffered traumatic brain and spinal cord injuries and believe they have no way out. For me, the most touching passages come near the beginning of the tale, where Mr. Lewis recounts the dream-like snippets that came back to him from his month in the coma. The book is a prodigious effort that has as much poetry and spiritual perception as it has revealing medical truths.

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The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating Review

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(More customer reviews)"...the snail had emerged from its shell into the alien territory of my room, with no clue as to where it was or how it had arrived; the lack of vegetation and the desertlike surroundings must have seemed strange. The snail and I were both living in altered landscapes not of our choosing; I figured we shared a sense of loss and displacement."Elisabeth Tova Bailey was in her mid-thirties when struck with a mysterious illness that soon led to her complete incapacitation. Without knowing the cause, much less the cure or the course that it might take, the disease was a frightening visitor. One day, a friend stops by with a rather odd gift. A snail, from out in the yard. First placed in a flower pot and eventually a terrarium, the snail becomes Bailey's constant companion. Because of her lack of mobility and energy, much of her time was spent observing the creature.
You might think this would be dull, or worse, that you'd be stuck listening to someone bleakly describing their every physical complaint. Not so. This book has very little to do with health issues and far more to do with curiosity and resilience. Bailey is not a complainer, actual details of her health are few and without self-pity. She doesn't simply give up either, she makes clear she wants to fight this unknown assailant on her life. That she does so with the help of a small snail is astounding.
The first surprise is that snails have a daily routine. They have certain times to eat and sleep and travel. They often return to the same place to sleep, and they sleep on their side. (!!!) As she watches the daily activities of the snail, she manages to study research on snails in general and in detail. Turns out snail research is pretty deep...volumes have been written on every tiny detail. As in: snails have teeth, 2200+ of them! Seriously, if they were bigger you'd think twice about stepping on one. They also have a special talent for when the going gets tough in their little world: they start a process called estivation. It's not hibernation (they do that too!) but instead it allows them to become dormant when the weather goes bad, or they lose their preferred food source, etc. Some snails have been known to estivate more than a few years. The process of sealing off their little shell is fascinating, and a study in insulation.
Then there's the romance. Researchers have studied that too, and I won't go into too much detail, but let's just say lady snails are not complaining about romance in their life! Male snails really knock themselves out on the charm aspect. So much of the research that is out there is fascinating, and Bailey sorts through it and shares the most interesting details. This isn't just a science project for her, she sees parallels in her condition as well as the snail's. Illness took her out of her social circle, and her life seemed slow and inconsequential. And snails usually are a typical example of slow and inconsequential living:
"Everything about a snail is cryptic, and it was precisely this air of mystery that first captured my interest. y own life, I realized, was becoming just as cryptic. From the severe onset of my illness and through its innumerable relapses, my place in the world has been documented more by my absence than by my presence. While close friends understood my situation, those who didn't know me well found my disappearance from work and social circles inexplicable.
...it wasn't that I had truly vanished; I was simply homebound, like a snail pulled into its shell. But being homebound in the human world is a sort of vanishing."
What makes this memoir unique, besides her indomitable spirit, is that she doesn't push any sort of religious or spiritual agenda for her positive outlook. There is no implied message, which is often a feature of such an inspiring book. Her facts are based on solid research, and she doesn't waste words; her prose is clear and precise. Additionally, and this may be trivial, but the book is exceptionally beautiful: little snail insignias, and designs, poetic quotes, and the actual fonts and design layout make it lovely.
One word of warning. Some inspirational "illness" stories often end up being the 'go to' gift choice for a sick friend. I know of one gentleman, who, when diagnosed with a serious illness, received eight copies of Tuesdays with Morrie from well-meaning friends. This is not that kind of book. It would be a far better gift for a Type-A personality that needs to slow down in their hectic life, or a book just to savor for yourself. It actually might make a great gift for a young person interested in science (the "romance" portions are tame). In any case, this book made me want to reconsider how much of my hectic life could be slowed down to enjoy the smaller but ultimately relevant details in the natural world around me.

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We All Fall Down: Living with Addiction Review

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(More customer reviews)I read Tweak after reading Beautiful Boy, by Nic's father, twice. I am the mother of an addict. When I saw Nic had written another book, I instantly read the reviews and kindled it immediately, honestly not expecting to be as moved by it as I was by Tweak. That is not the case. Nic, thank you for writing this book, it was amazing.
It may sound odd to call a book about the tortures of someones life amazing, but, this book is. Nic lets us see every twisted, terrible downward spiral by being honest with how he feels and what he thinks, no matter how dirty it sounds. His braveness is unbelievable, letting us see the worst of him. Then, we also get a glimpse of the greatness in him and the hope that lies within. And that hope gives me hope, for him, for my son, for every addict out there.
Nic DOES NOT whine about 12 step programs nor does he bash them. He simply doesn't think they are his way. They may work for most, but perhaps not for him, or they are not the be all end all. He does participate in treatment that is not 12 step based, although he said he goes to a meeting once in a while. Since when does one thing make sense for ALL, every single person? That thinking is so off track. There is always a percentage of people that the common cure does not work for. All Nic is saying is that 12 step isn't for him, let's not crucify him for it. If he had cancer, maybe chemo would work for most, but maybe not for him, are we gonna fry him for that? I applaud how he figured out what he is comfortable with, and stayed true to himself. He doesn't say don't do treatment, he says find the treatment that feels right to you.
This book is just as good as Tweak, and I sincerely hope Nic keeps writing, because I, for one, will be buying his next one.
Be well Nic and thank you, thank you, thank you.


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Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too Review

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(More customer reviews)I just looked up the word "campy," and there is nothing campy about Life without Ed. As a woman recovering from an eating disorder and as a clinician treating eating disorders, I find this book to be a refreshing change from the staus quo of tortuous memoirs and over-intellectualized material that tends to occupy this market.
The recovery work described in this book is undoubtedly the real deal. Jenni Schaefer has obviously worked hard to overcome her eating disorder and she is to be congratulated for that. And while we're at it, let's congratulate her for the willingness to share her story so candidly, and for being creative enough to bring such a delightful sense of humor to this very serious subject matter. She no doubt gets some of the humor from her therapist and co-author Thom Rutledge. His writing (the best of which is Embracing Fear) always manages to bring together serious self-help and the kind of humor that offers a perspective that is in and of itself healing.
If you have even the slightest interest in understanding the inner-workings of eating disorders, buy this book. If you are a therapist or counselor who works with eating disorders, buy this book. If you love someone with an eating disorder, buy this book. And if you have an eating disorder --- definitely buy this book.
Who says medicine has to taste bad to be good? Learn, grow and enjoy Life without Ed.
Sarah Wiley, Ph.D.

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A unique new approach to treating eating disorders

Eight million women in the United States suffer from anorexia nervosa and/or bulimia. For these women, the road to recovery is a rocky one. Many succumb to their eating disorders. Life Without Ed offers hope to all those who suffer from these often deadly disorders. For years, author Jennifer Schaefer lived with both anorexia and bulimia. She credits her successful recovery to the technique she learned from her psychologist, Thom Rutledge.

This groundbreaking book illustrates Rutledge's technique. As in the author's case, readers are encouraged to think of an eating disorder as if it were a distinct being with a personality of its own. Further, they are encouraged to treat the disorder as a relationship rather than as a condition. Schaefer named her eating disorder Ed; her recovery involved "breaking up" with Ed

Shares the points of view of both patient and therapist in this approach to treatment
Helps people see the disease as a relationship from which they can distance themselves
Techniques to defeat negative thoughts that plague eating disorder patients

Prescriptive, supportive, and inspirational, Life Without Ed shows readers how they too can overcome their eating disorders.

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Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love Review

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(More customer reviews)I found this book well written and comprehensive, but what was the most moving to me was the way in which it touched the most painful and sad and hidden part of my relationships. Not only does it talk about me and why I do this, but it clearly talks about my partner(s) and what they seek in this valiant but destructive and Quixotic dance we do. I did not need my highlighter, as my tears did the highlighting on each and every page.Strangely, the more I read into the book the more soothed I felt in that I understood, finally, that I am not alone, that I needn't be alone and that there is a way out from this. If you suffer in relationships in the dramatic push-pull way, if the relationships you have are frought with complicated manipulations, if you want a way out...please read this book. Best of luck. Tim

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The author of the bestselling Facing Codependence unravels the intricate dynamics of toxic love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. In this revised and updated edition of Facing Love Addiction, internationally recognised dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody clearly outlines the debilitating ′toxic′ patterns played out by love addicts and the unresponsive love avoidants to whom they are painfully and repeatedly drawn.

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