Showing posts with label sexuality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexuality. Show all posts

S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College Review

S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-To-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College
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There are so many things to recommend this book aimed at youth 16 - 22 (but containing info valuable to a much wider age range) that it's difficult to know where to begin. S.E.X. contains a lot of the information you find in guides aimed at a young readership - anatomy lessons, safer sex guidelines, a breakdown of birth control options, definitions of various sexual activities and infections. The difference here is Heather Corinna's (who as the founder of the world's most awesome sex ed site, Scarleteen, has seen and heard it all) dedication to tugging the rest of society closer to her dream of a world where everyone is "healthy, happy and whole in themselves and their sexuality: in body, heart, and mind."
To that end the book is truly inclusive. In a section on sexual identity Corinna points out that "this isn't the gay chapter" and indeed the book doesn't assume a heterosexual default the way many do - or root itself in traditional gender roles. Nor does it assume that sex is better when connected with love or marriage. The emphasis is unfailingly on communication, being as safe as possible, respecting your own and others' boundaries and fitting sex into the rest of your life in a healthy and enjoyable way.
The slant seems so balanced and logical that it's a wonder society at large is in such a mess when it comes to sex and sexuality. But popular culture with its constant projection of a hyper-sexuality which is unvarying and prescriptive (dictating what sort of bodies we should have, the kinds of activities we should be engaging in and who should be performing them - and how) would seem to be the enemy of this logic. To counter these negative messages and arrive at a healthy body image, Heather suggests reducing TV watching and binning your fashion magazines, noticing the diversity around you in your everyday life, focusing on things other than appearance and concentrating on physical activities you enjoy (whether that be team sports, canoeing, whatever).
Of course there's a lot of sex in this book and sexual activities are catalogued along with their pregnancy and STI risk. You'll learn that the idea that female virgins are supposed to be "tight" is pure myth. "A woman having first intercourse very well might be tight, but that is likely due more to nervousness, fear, and anxiety than it is to whether or not she has had partnered sex before." If a woman's relaxed, aroused and lubricated enough with a patient partner first-time sex doesn't need to be painful. The idea of premature ejaculation is "a bit bogus" too. There's no "minimum time that is acceptable for erection" and sexual activity can continue in other ways afterwards. There's no reason that all (or any) of the fun has to spring from penetration.
Unfortunately, not at all sex is consensual and S.E.X. also discusses healing from abuse and rape. "One-half of all rape victims are raped between the ages of fourteen and seventeen." Roughly a third of "high-school and college students has experienced sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional violence in dating relationships."
As adults, we don't do near enough honest talking about these issues. How can we expect young people to deal with the rampant sexual assumptions and expectations, misinformation and pressure created by living in a society that on the one hand tells them sex is something serious and special to save for later while simultaneously drowning them in images that promote the very opposite?
For starters we could buy them this book. If everyone read, digested and lived by the philosophies espoused in S.E.X. our sexual problems would be a thing of the past.

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Have you ever wondered… Am I normal? (and what is "normal," anyway?) What's up down there? I really like girls, but I like boys sometimes, too. Am I gay, bisexual, or just messed up? Are we both really ready to have sex? Is it ok if I masturbate? I feel like I can't ever say no to my partner. What's the problem? Heather Corinna and Scarleteen.com have been providing sex education and information for young adults, parents, and mentors for nearly ten years. Whether you're straight, gay, sexually active, or just plain curious, S.E.X. spells out everything you need to know, including: A sexual readiness checklist Illustrations of female and male reproductive anatomy How to love your body, even when it's changing every day Tips on safer sex for body, heart, and mind An in-depth birth control breakdown How to create and enjoy the relationships that are right for you Popular mechanics of partnered sex: sexual activities explained, including pregnancy and STI risks STIs 101: what they are and how to keep yourself from getting them

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The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra Review

The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra
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The Kama Sutra has a huge reputation based on only one of its five sections. The positions would be Part 2 and only one chapter of the ten in that section. Most books with Kama Sutra in the title are just going to be some porn structured around that chapter. The entire book is not so much useful in describing the physics of sex as for describing the psychology of sex. (It is good for physical stuff too. At one point it gives a method to get to the G-spot with the fingers, so I have to give Indian medicine props there.)
The five sections are as follows:
Part 1 - Describes how to be attractive. You should bathe before you will be meeting the opposite sex and do something to get your breath smelling better. Also clean your apartment. People call it ritual, but it is excellent advice on not being a slob. For women it gives a listing of the 64 arts which will let you be the favorite in the harem. They are fun. Who wouldn't love a woman who does yoga, can inlay a marble table and knows how to design and build irrigation systems? Much more fun to try to be than the Proverbs 31 woman, but on the other hand kind of a strange laundry list of talents.
Part 2 - The positions, hugging, kissing, scratching and oral. Size of the man and the woman and which positions are better to even thing out in that regard.
Part 3 - How to negotiate an arranged marriage (not so useful now). How to devirginize your bride. You won't be sexing her until about two weeks into the marriage. Its all about gaining her trust and her being comfortable so she won't have hang ups about men, and sadly it doesn't apply to most marriages or devirginizations today.
Part 4 - Handling your harem. How the harem women should treat one another and how to keep them one big happy family.
Part 5 - Other men's wives/concubines and how to sneak around with them.
Part 6 - Courtesans. Kind of like etiquette for prostitutes, except courtesans aren't prostitutes. For example there is some etiquette on how to handle the courtesan living with you and your wives.
Part 7 - Being a hottie. How to make some aprodisiacs and some nice little tricks. This section is probably better advice for the sex life than the positions in that the anatomy is here.
I highly recommend the Kama Sutra but not to people who are looking for the book by reputation as sex sex sex. The book is very much about sex, but more about the whole world of etiquette surrounding male female relations. Virgin marriages (virgin women anyway) are taken for granted and one whole section is about devirginizing the woman AFTER THE MARRIAGE. The advice is very good because it tells how to go about building relationships not how to have one night stands.
Get this book to study and think about and view it as relationship advice and not physical sex advice. So much of the book is about communication and is dead on that it is no wonder it is a classic and likewise shows how important communication is to good sex. In terms of this specific translation, just go for a modern translation of the whole book. A picture book of the positions is not the Kama Sutra and the Richard Burton translation is very stilted. This translation works and pictures are reproductions of Indian art not photos of models, so they are less likely to contribute to dissatisfaction or distance with the partner. As with all sexy books avoid used copies.

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A fully illustrated Kama Sutra from the extraordinary and rare art collection of Lance Dane • The first complete translation to illustrate all 64 sexual postures described in the Kama Sutra • Includes 269 rare images • Composed by one of the world's foremost scholars of the Kama Sutra and Indian art The erotic sentiments described in the Hindu love classic the Kama Sutra constitute the most famous work on sex ever created. Written almost 2,000 years ago, the Kama Sutra deals with all aspects of sexual life, including the principles and techniques of sexual pleasure and how to best achieve ecstatic expression of life's beauty.

In this complete and illustrated guide Lance Dane accompanies the Kama Sutra text with 269 illustrations and great works of art that encompass coins, palm leaf manuscripts, sculptures, ancient toys, jewelry, architecture, ivory combs, birch bark, cloth, paintings, frescoes, and scrolls. Gathered from museums and private collections around the world—as well as the author's own collection of over 300,000 photographs—these rare images clearly illustrate all 64 sexual positions and the erotic instructions set forth in the Kama Sutra. The result is a dazzling and sensuous reading experience through which the teachings of the Kama Sutra spring to life.


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And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity Review

And the Bride Wore White: Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity
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Every woman should read this book. Especially if you have daughters. No matter where you are in your life, as a young unmarried woman, a wife/mom, or even a grandmother Dannah's words will speak to your heart. I bought this book for my 16 yr old sister and found that even as a happily married wife and mom, I couldn't put it down. All my life I'd heard the "don't" message and although there are plenty of compelling reasons often mentioned (STD's unwanted pregnancy ect) the most compelling of all was missed. I found it in these pages. The most compelling reason to strive for purity is the reward. Purity is holding your hunger at bay, anticipating the incredible feast God has created in marital love. Purity is getting and staying focused on the goal- and like Dannah says it is a process. Why on earth would you choose cheetos when you have a banquet prepared and waiting! If you didn't know what the banquet was all about your hunger might get the best of you- For many of us it did. I cried when I finished this book thinking of how my life might have been different if only someone had given me this book when I was 16. But after the mourning came healing. Read this book. Give it to your daughters, your sisters, your granddaughters... God will bless you all.

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'As a mother of two teenage daughters, I cannot think of any book more beautifully inspiring than And the Bride Wore White. My daughters love Dannah's insights, humor and her call for a life without regrets...I am deeply grateful for the realistic role model she is for my daughters...she has changed their lives and in doing so she has changed mine.' Tammy Maltby, author and co-host of Emmy nominated Aspiring Women.Dannah Gresh's And the Bride Wore White exposes our culture's lies about sex, and prepares young women and girls for the world's pressures. In this special edition there will be dozens of stories/personal testimonies of hurt and healing...first time salvations...confessions to parents that lead to accountability...and lots of wedding proposals, of course.

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Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community Review

Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community
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In a world that increasingly welcomes and accepts those of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transsexual (GLBT) orientation, Christians must open their eyes and ears to what GLBT people are saying about God, the Scriptures, the church, and human sexuality. This is especially true if we want to minister among them.
Furthermore, the GLBT issue is increasingly being brought up on television and in politics. Numerous states are passing laws legalizing same-sex marriage. Therefore, it is vitally important for Christians to know how to respond to these situations, not only in truth, but also in love.
Andrew Marin is one Christian who is pioneering the way.
In his book, Andrew Marin provides an excellent overview of the absolute necessity for Christians to build bridges to those people who are in the GLBT community. As Christ took the initiative and came to us, we must take the initiative in building bridges of hope and love to others.
Thankfully, Andrew Marin is not writing theoretically, but from yeas of experience from living among the GLBT community as the "gayest straight person in the world."
The book provides excellent insights and guidelines for working alongside and developing relationships with people in the GLBT community. For example, Andrew advises the four of the most important things Christians can do are (1) love, (2) listen, (3) don't judge, and (4) seek friendship and conversation. Also, he recommends we stop saying "Love the sinner; hate the sin" and referring to those in the GLBT community as "homosexuals." Both, he explains, are derogatory.
One helpful feature of the book is the answers to the five main questions that are on the minds of most Christians. The questions are:
1. Do you think that gays and lesbians are born that way?
2. Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
3. Can a GLBT person change?
4. Do you think that someone can be gay and a Christian?
5. Are GLBT people going to hell?
I imagine that as you read this short review, one or two of these questions crossed your mind as well. I believe that Marin provided some excellent answers to these questions in his book. Sadly, I don't have room to reproduce the answers here...so I guess you'll just have to buy and read the book for yourself.


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King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine Review

King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine
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I first read this book when it appeared in the early '90s, when the Men's Movement was everywhere (how long ago that seems). I have come back to the book many, many times for guidance and insight, finding relevance in different portions as I have aged, changed jobs, and faced new challenges. There is a reason why this book remains in print: it's an intelligent, clear, and well-grounded examination of the primary facets of men's selves and how men can use this understanding to improve their lives. The authors discuss each of the title's four archetypes in turn, explaining both the positive and negative aspects of each one, and how each can interact with the others. A particular strength is the authors' ability to describe each archetype in a vivid, three-dimensional (yet concise) way that enables you to *see* the archetype at work in yourself and others. I would recommend this book especially for readers who may be turned off by self-help works that are either too simplistic or too mystical. And, as other reviewers have pointed out, much of it would appear to be of interest to women as well as men.

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THE BESTSELLING, WIDELY HERALDED, JUNGIAN INTRODUCTION TO THE PSYCHOLOGICAL FOUNDATION OF A MATURE, AUTHENTIC, AND REVITALIZED MASCULINITY.

"The author take on the difficult task of separating man from boy by excavating 'psychological facts' from

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