The Tender Bar: A Memoir Review

The Tender Bar: A Memoir
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This is one of those books that paralyzes the reviewer in its beauty. What can I say to convince you to read this book? Ideally, I'd just highlight every single line and make you read it.
It is nearly impossible to pin down one theme Moehringer's memoir is about: Fatherless boys? Working class moms trying to make ends meet? The search for a father figure in a crowd of bartenders? The genesis of a journalist, of a writer? The life of a blue-collar Yalie? Determining one's purpose in life? An intense character study of men in a bar? The rebellion of a son against his mom's intense love and support? Society's love affair with alcohol? In the end, this memoir is all of this and so much more, told in marvelous prose.
The author biography in the back jacket flap reveals that Moehringer is a Pulitzer Prize winner and national correspondent for the Los Angeles Times. These facts will help buoy the reader when our author is failing out of Yale, failing at life, or struggling to get promoted beyond his hard-won copyboy position at the New York Times. Moehringer searches for purpose, reason, motivations, and positive reinforcement (other than from his mother). He especially struggles with his unpublished novel, which he worked on for close to a decade (and which I suspect became the basis for his memoir, since the novel was reportedly largely autobiographical).
This is one of those books one needs to own, for the underlining of critical passages and literary references to review again later. Be prepared to get intimate with the tough, ruddy-faced bartenders and barkeeps of Publicans (especially Uncle Charlie, who I have known in another body in my own life), and to put Steve's bar on the list of places to visit before you die.


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Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love Review

Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love
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I found this book well written and comprehensive, but what was the most moving to me was the way in which it touched the most painful and sad and hidden part of my relationships. Not only does it talk about me and why I do this, but it clearly talks about my partner(s) and what they seek in this valiant but destructive and Quixotic dance we do. I did not need my highlighter, as my tears did the highlighting on each and every page.Strangely, the more I read into the book the more soothed I felt in that I understood, finally, that I am not alone, that I needn't be alone and that there is a way out from this. If you suffer in relationships in the dramatic push-pull way, if the relationships you have are frought with complicated manipulations, if you want a way out...please read this book. Best of luck. Tim

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The author of the bestselling Facing Codependence unravels the intricate dynamics of toxic love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. In this revised and updated edition of Facing Love Addiction, internationally recognised dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody clearly outlines the debilitating ′toxic′ patterns played out by love addicts and the unresponsive love avoidants to whom they are painfully and repeatedly drawn.

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Mine Till Midnight (The Hathaways, Book 1) Review

Mine Till Midnight (The Hathaways, Book 1)
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Living on the fringes of society has never much bothered half-Gypsy half-Irish Cam Rohan. Until now. An unsettling feeling has slowly begun to take root over the past few years. He no longer enjoys things that once brought him pleasure. Instead he's bombarded with uncivilized urges, is easily provoked and short-tempered. The walls are closing in all around him. There's a fierce need in him to go back to his roots. To live in the open uninhibited ways of the Romany. To be free.
Amelia Hathaway bursts into his life making no apologies. She's a shabby gentlewoman whose the glue that holds together her quirky/misfit family. Someone who time and again takes up the reins and shoulders all the responsibility. A woman in need of rescue herself. One too afraid to rely on anyone.
Their paths cross constantly. Is it fate or balderdash? Whose to say what the future holds? Who needs to be rescued or shackled or set free? Or maybe a little of all the above?
I've been anxiously waiting for this book and I'm happy to say that I'm not disappointed. Cam is everything that I wanted him to be; a slightly roguish hero with a heart of gold. Amelia is the near historical equivalent of a super mom (with a brother and sisters instead of kids). She (practically) singlehandedly manages everyone and everything. An exhausting prospect. Both are restless and searching for peace that continues to elude them. That is, until they find each other.
Kleypas rounds out the book with a cast of delightful secondary characters. There's the old ones who make an appearance (Marcus, Lillian, Sebastian and Evie) and new ones that captured my attention and nearly stole the show. Amelia's sister Win and her relationship with Merripen (the Romany who has lived with them since he was twelve) is particularly intriguing. I can't wait for that sequel. As well as Amelia's depressed, dissolute brother whose reasons for being such tugged at this reader's heartstrings.
It almost goes without saying that Kleypas is superb romance author. You'll find well drawn characters, sizzling sexual tension and engrossing plots in almost all of her books. This one is no exception.
A good romance from a great writer. Won't replace Devil in Winter or Then Came You as my tops but a fine Kleypas to add to my collection.

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Demonglass (A Hex Hall Novel) Review

Demonglass (A Hex Hall Novel)
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I love it when sequels are as strong as--or better than--their predecessors. It doesn't always happen. I can think of more series that failed to live up to their hype than I can ones that surpassed what was expected of them. Demonglass, the second entry in Rachel Hawkins' Hex Hall series, is a book worthy of standing next to its sibling on the bookshelf. If you thought Hex Hall was fun and quirky, you'll be pleased to know that the second novel in the series is as well. In fact, Hawkins packed the kitchen sink this time around. Demonglass is even spunkier than Hex Hall. This is a series that I never expected to love. I don't read many paranormal novels and I didn't expect much going into the first book. If you recall from my review last month, however, I fell in love with the world Rachel Hawkins created for us. Her characters are witty and fresh. Paranormal stereotypes don't exist; rather, they're turned on their heads.
One of the most interesting things about Demonglass is how fresh it was. Starting the novel, it didn't feel like a rehash of the same old story being drawn out for no necessary reason. There's purpose in everything that goes on. While there's a little angst (because, really, can you think of a single book that doesn't stir things up a bit?), it's not the usual dreck so frequently found in YA literature. Main character Sophie doesn't sit around feeling sorry for herself and whining about her lot in life. No, she's so kick-ass, she's going to do something about it. Without spoiling things for anyone who hasn't read Hex Hall (in which case, what are you sitting around here for? Shoo! Go read!), huge revelations are revealed toward the end of the first book. These things are dealt with here. Sophie is very focused on doing the right thing, even if it goes against her own safety.
Demonglass begins shortly after Hex Hall left off, so little time has passed. I didn't feel like I was being thrust into a new situation. Show, don't tell. Hawkins took this advice to heart and it shows. In fact, she goes a step further and moves the entire novel to another country. We explored the school in the first book; now we travel to London, where things (again) aren't quite as they appear to be. A new setting poses new problems and scenarios. There are quite a few familiar faces, but also new characters to love (or fear!). Demonglass has an even tighter storyline, one that completely sucked me up and involved me. I'm usually good at picking up on the path an author is headed down and able to arrive at the right spot ahead of time. The Hex Hall series likes to keep the surprises coming, though. There are so many things I never anticipated in both books, but especiallly here. Sometimes, I feel like I'm in Wonderland, where everything is the opposite of what it seems. Hawkins is brilliant when it comes to weaving together a captivating novel. My only con? The cliffhanger is downright wicked. I don't want to wait to read the next book! Hawkins is such a tease; she knows just where to leave us hanging...


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Sophie Mercer thought she was a witch. That was the whole reason she was sent to Hex Hall, a reform school for delinquent Prodigium (akawitches,shapeshifters, and fairies). But that was before she discovered the family secret, andthat her hot crush, Archer Cross, is an agent for The Eye, a group bent on wiping Prodigium off the face of the earth.Turns out, Sophie's a demon, one of only two in the world-the other being her father. What's worse, she has powers that threaten the lives of everyone she loves. Which is precisely why Sophie decides she must go to London for the Removal, a dangerous procedure that will destroy her powers.But once Sophie arrives she makes a shocking discovery. Her new friends? They're demons too. Meaningsomeone is raising them in secret with creepy plans to use their powers, and probably not for good. Meanwhile, The Eye is set on hunting Sophie down, and they're using Acher to do it. But it's not like she has feelings for him anymore. Does she?

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DMT: The Spirit Molecule: A Doctor's Revolutionary Research into the Biology of Near-Death and Mystical Experiences Review

DMT: The Spirit Molecule: A Doctor's Revolutionary Research into the Biology of Near-Death and Mystical Experiences
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Although this book reads more like a journal paper than one might expect based on the trade paperback format and trippy Alex Grey cover art, Dr. Rick Strassman is, after all, a research scientist, not a novelist, and thus may be forgiven for not having a thorough grasp of pacing and the value of dramatic intrigue. Specifically, about a quarter of this book deals with Strassman's convoluted attempts to gain permission to study DMT (which is, for the unfamiliar, LSD's faster-acting, shorter-lasting, knockout-punching cousin), which is admittedly an interesting story, but I am sure I'm not alone in wishing he'd given us a few extra chapters of DMT case studies instead.
And the case studies are intriguing indeed. Through various permutations of set, setting, and dosage, Strassman's volunteers experience DMT trips ranging from explorations of personal emotions and thoughts to full-blown sojourns into Cosmic Consciousness. And somewhere between these polarities of personal ego and impersonal Absolute there reside experiences of an altogether different order. It is these experiences that perhaps set the DMT molecule drastically apart from the other major psychedelic drugs. They're perhaps best explained with an example, and generally go something like this: A person is injected with DMT; within fifteen seconds the person feels a rush and suddenly finds him- or herself perceiving a completely different environment, with no major alteration in the quality of awareness, and usually there appear one or more "beings" in this environment who interact with the person and are felt, with certainty, to be entirely "real" entities, independent of, but not exactly separate from, the DMT tripper's mind. Here is how one of Strassman's subjects describes his experience:
"I felt like I was in an alien laboratory, in a hospital bed like this. . . . A sort of landing bay, or recovery area. There were beings. . . .
"They had a space ready for me. They weren't as surprised as I was. It was incredibly un-psychedelic. I was able to pay attention to detail. There was one main creature, and he seemed to be behind it all, overseeing everything. The others were orderlies, or dis-orderlies.
"They activated a sexual circuit, and I was flushed with an amazing orgasmic energy. A goofy chart popped up like an X-ray in a cartoon, and a yellow illumination indicated that the corresponding system, or series of systems, were fine. They were checking my instruments, testing things. When I was coming out, I couldn't help but think `aliens.' "
As Strassman explains, it was these consistently similar experiences with what could only be identified as "aliens" or "elves" that he found most baffling in the course of his DMT research, and these reports eventually persuaded him to alter his whole relational approach to his volunteers. Rather than interpret and explain away, as psychiatrists are wont to do with just about everything, he decided to proceed with an open mind, to listen and encourage, and then later try to fit the pieces into some coherent theoretical framework, perhaps even invent one if current preconceptions of the nature of reality couldn't accommodate the data (such a novel approach!, sadly enough). It is this open, inquisitive attitude that makes this book eminently satisfying, despite any narrative sluggishness, because rarely does one find this caliber of fastidious, empirical-phenomenological research coupled with investigations into alien encounters, near-death experiences, and ecstatic glimpses of God. Usually, a researcher with this degree of scientific experience has already been too thoroughly digested by the modern religion of scientism to be able to see the very real duality between mind and matter, let alone to entertain such ideas as these: (1) that DMT is produced naturally in the human body by the pineal gland, and the appearance of the pineal gland in the developing human fetus at 49 days post-conception corresponds to the arrival of the soul in the body (with the DMT chemical serving as a kind of doorway between material and astral worlds); (2) that certain meditative practices, such as chanting, cause a vibratory effect in the brain that stimulates the pineal gland to release DMT, thus inciting certain spiritual experiences; and (3) that the phenomenon of alien abduction is so similar to certain DMT trips that they're likely the same thing, which in no way diminishes the "reality" of alien encounters, because, as Strassman theorizes, "Returning to the TV analogy . . . DMT provides regular, repeated, and reliable access to `other' channels. The other planes of existence are always there. . . . But we cannot perceive them because we are not designed to do so; our hard-wiring keeps us tuned in to Channel Normal. It takes only a second or two--the few heartbeats the spirit molecule requires to make its way to the brain--to change the channel, to open our mind to these other planes of existence" (pp. 315-316). A typical alien abduction, then, might either be caused by an unusually high, but naturally occurring, release of DMT by the pineal gland in the brain, or by a similar release of DMT effected by an external, alien source: in both cases the same effect is achieved, and one is able to perceive that "other plane" whence the little gray men spring forth. (And while not as far out as those ideas, Strassman's proposal that an aberrant, consistently high-enough emission of DMT in the brain forms the basis of schizophrenia is also very persuasive, and anyone with some experience with psychedelics should appreciate how someone who had this problem could go completely crazy rather quickly.)
In conclusion, if you're at all interested in psychedelics, brain/mind relations, or parapsychology in general, this is definitely required reading. And if I could recommend only five books from the voluminous library of ufology that are actually well worth reading by any sensitive, intelligent human being, they'd be (in this order): "Angels and Aliens" by Keith Thompson, "Dimensions" by Jacques Vallée, "Communion" by Whitley Strieber, "Abduction" by John Mack--and "DMT" by Rick Strassman.

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A clinical psychiatrist explores the effects of DMT, one of the most powerful psychedelics known.

' A behind-the-scenes look at the cutting edge of psychedelic research.

' Provides a unique scientific explanation for the phenomenon of alien abduction experiences.

From 1990 to 1995 Dr. Rick Strassman conducted U.S. Government-approved and funded clinical research at the University of New Mexico in which he injected sixty volunteers with DMT, one of the most powerful psychedelics known. His detailed account of those sessions is an extraordinarily riveting inquiry into the nature of the human mind and the therapeutic potential of psychedelics. DMT, a plant-derived chemical found in the psychedelic Amazon brew, ayahuasca, is also manufactured by the human brain. In Strassman's volunteers, it consistently produced near-death and mystical experiences. Many reported convincing encounters with intelligent nonhuman presences, aliens, angels, and spirits. Nearly all felt that the sessions were among the most profound experiences of their lives.

Strassman's research connects DMT with the pineal gland, considered by Hindus to be the site of the seventh chakra and by Rene Descartes to be the seat of the soul. DMT: The Spirit Molecule makes the bold case that DMT, naturally released by the pineal gland, facilitates the soul's movement in and out of the body and is an integral part of the birth and death experiences, as well as the highest states of meditation and even sexual transcendence. Strassman also believes that "alien abduction experiences" are brought on by accidental releases of DMT. If used wisely, DMT could trigger a period of remarkable progress in the scientific exploration of the most mystical regions of the human mind and soul.


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Raphael Review

Raphael
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Vampires! Who can resist a vampire, especially a powerful, sexy, rich, vampire god like Reynolds created with Raphael. Oh mamma, I was in vampire heaven with this one, it had it all: tough and gritty heroine, sexy and ridiculously manly hero, interesting back-drop, mystery, violence and steamy, wall-shaking romantic interludes. I need to simultaneously smoke a cigarette and punch something after finishing this novel. Vampire fans, run, don't walk --- and get this novel.
REVIEW:
The setting: Malibu, California.
The heroine: Tough cookie, private investigator, Cynthia Leighton. Former LAPD officer who does not play well with others.
The hero: Lord Master Vampire Raphael, enough power at his fingertips to crush mere mortals with a look and make women undress on command.
The situation: While Raphael is away on business, someone makes a power-play to shake things up. Alexandra, a vampire Raphael holds dear, is kidnapped and guards are murdered. Raphael's trust has been betrayed and there are traitors within his staff.
Raphael needs someone outside of his influence to solve this mystery, find out who kidnapped Alexandra and deal with the humans who have become pawns in this vampire power-grab. Cynthia Leighton is just what Raphael needs. She is used to working with vampires and she is smart enough to track down Alexandra and tough enough to bear witness to the vampire way of doing things. What neither one of them planned for was the attraction that is becoming much more than just a distraction.
Like I stated in the quickie above this novel had it all. A must-read for vampire fans. Strong characters, matched with an intensely hard-hitting plot and a whirl-wind and very lusty introduction to a society of vampires, made for an excellent book. One of the things that stands out the most about this novel was it was real. Far-fetched right for a paranormal novel? But the thing about PNR and UF is that the underlying factor in all of them is human emotion. You might be a vamp, but you were once a human - and here you are falling in love. The emotionally responses, the dialogue and even the sex scenes were real.
How many times have you read a sex scene in a book and went, "Well that was hot, but I don't see myself ever doing that particular move." These were nothing like that. It was real, completely believable character interaction.
Then, Reynolds also has a quirky way of writing that at first made me stop and reread a few sentences, but once it seeped in I really began to enjoy her voice. This doesn't happen often, but she actually introduced me to a few new words. Nothing high-brow or anything, just interesting descriptions and metaphors and a way of rearranging sentence structure that gave the tone a little more depth and a old-world feeling. Not a historical feeling, this is hard to describe, but a full-bodied, aged feeling. A good analogy would be that her book was like a good merlot. Very spicy, aged and with a full-body flavor.
The only bitter flavoring that I found with this book was just a small niggling at the back of my head that I had read this before, or at least similar story-lines. Hot over-powering male vamp hires prickly female PI, doesn't shine as the most original idea, but the setting, the characters and the excellent writing sets it a part from the rest.
RECOMMENDATIONS: Fans of authors such as J.R. Ward, Laurel K. Hamilton, Jeaninne Frost should really enjoy. Adults only, this book contains violence, explicit sex scenes and cursing. Not for anyone with a purity ring. ;)

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Malibu, California-home to rock-and-roll gods and movie stars, the beautiful, the rich . . . and vampires.Powerful and charismatic, Raphael is a Vampire Lord, one of the few who hold the power of life and death over every vampire in existence. Thousands call him Master and have pledged absolute loyalty on their very lives. But when, in a brazen and deadly daylight attack, a gang of human killers kidnaps the one female vampire he'd give his life for, Raphael turns to a human investigator to find his enemies before it's too late.Cynthia Leighton is smart, tough and sexy, a private investigator and former cop who's tired of spying on cheating spouses and digging out old bank accounts.When Raphael asks for her help in tracking down the kidnappers, Cyn's happy to accept.But she soon realizes her greatest danger comes not from the humans, but from Raphael himself.Battling Russian mobsters and treacherous vampires, and betrayed by those they trusted, Cyn and Raphael find themselves fighting for their lives while caught up in a passion of blood and violence that is destined to destroy them both.

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A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook Review

A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook
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If I had to identify one quality that separates this book from the rest of the mindfulness resources in the self-help aisle, it's that these pages are so practical and can't help but provide the reader with plenty of "Aha!" moments. Reading through the chapters and exercises, I appreciate all the research that Goldstein and Stahl studied, material that illuminates how mindfulness exercises can alter and help shape your brain to be more optimistic and resilient. But what won my trust is that they have both been stress cases themselves at certain points in their lives, and can therefore communicate with empathetic language. They both know, on a very personal level, how stress can disable a person. Much like Kay Redfield Jamison, the famous psychologist who suffers from bipolar disorder, they speak both as expert and patient.
I understand mindfulness as forcing a bit of time and space between a situation and your reaction, or recognizing the snowball of thoughts that's forming in your mind before it becomes too overwhelming to sort through yourself. Goldstein and Stahl quote Vicktor Frankl, psychiatrist and holocaust survivor: "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."
Although mindfulness techniques aren't able to rescue me out of an acute, severe depression, if I diligently adhered to all the wisdom contained in Stahl and Goldstein's book, and designated a time of the day to do all the exercises, I could save myself some considerable heartache and headache.
Why?
Their mindfulness exercises allow the reader to take some of the files off of her cluttered and disorganized desk because the files relate to the past or to the future, and the present tense is the only one she should worry about now. According to the authors, mindfulness is about sticking to the here and now and banishing all judgment. It's also about breaking the job, day, or situation down ... into small parts, in order to better manage it.
Goldstein and Stahl's workbook uses a strong motivator for readers to learn the beneficial habit of mindfulness, and that is accountability. When you write things down and record your progress, you become accountable. Maybe that's why my kids hate homework so much, come to think of it. So what they have done for us is set up a system by which we can challenge ourselves to better integrate our body, mind, and soul. Or at least that's the plan.
I recommend this workbook to anyone who is stressed out ... um ... everyone I know.

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Stress and pain are nearly unavoidable in our daily lives; they are part of the human condition. This stress can often leave us feeling irritable, tense, overwhelmed, and burned-out. The key to maintaining balance is responding to stress not with frustration and self-criticism, but with mindful, nonjudgmental awareness of our bodies and minds. Impossible? Actually, it's easier than it seems.

In just weeks, you can learn mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR), a clinically proven program for alleviating stress, anxiety, panic, depression, chronic pain, and a wide range of medical conditions. Taught in classes and clinics worldwide, this powerful approach shows you how to focus on the present moment in order to permanently change the way you handle stress. As you work through A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook, you'll learn how to replace stress-promoting habits with mindful ones-a skill that will last a lifetime.


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